The Post Breakup Blog

There was a very famous, wise, and fullyy enlightened yogini in India named Anandamayi Ma. She used to cry at weddings, but not for joy. She could see the newlyweds projecting all of their hopes, desires and grandiose expectations on to each other, each one blind to the fallacy of the lofty fantasy.

I have been doing a lot of listening lately. Listening to people talk about the things in their lives that are not making them happy.

A common theme is that they are looking for love that is eluding them. many of them believe that someone else is going to make them happy and fulfill all of their wildest dreams. But here's the pure yogic truth: the love or happiness you experience at any time with any person is not coming from them; it's coming from you.

Actually, as my teacher Geshe Michael Roche says," everything you are experiencing in your outer world is just an out -picturing of your own mind." If you want your world to change; you have to change yourself at the level of mind.

Changing the way your mind thinks takes much effort on your part. Since your world is produced by your habits of thought, you have to break the habit of thinking in a way that is causing you pain. You have to sit down each day and work out the antidote to your particular suffering. You must create in your mind how you want your world to be and then you have to practice being it yourself. This will definatly involve you giving what you want to other people first. As Gandhi said,"Be the change that you want to see in the world."

I have just gone through a breakup recently and it was very different than any other breakup i ever had, at least from the stand point of mind. i have been practicing yoga as a science and not just a hobby for about thirteen years. The scince of yoga is about learning to perfect your relationships; with yourself, with others, with community, with the earth, with the cosmos etc. Learning about a knee joint is learning about a relationship; when it's working in harmony or when it's not working in harmony for example.

My ex was a musician living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. His life was an out-picturing of want he wanted: gigs, fame, money, rootlessness, short term pleasures and perhaps a show like VH1 ROCK OF LOVE.

My world was changing too but in the other direction. My business was thriving with students that were dedicated, longterm practioners. I basically created a family that valued quality, stability, good humor, intelligence, creativity and presence of mind. I was able to see the out-picturing of my own mind. I was getting back what I was giving out. Even in this terrible economy, I have a 30% increase in attendence from last year and my prices are on the high end of the spectrum for yoga classes.

Without a doubt, you get the picture that you hold in your mind. Many people have said this phrase in one way or another: Patanjali, Iyengar, Dharma Mitra, Bob Proctor. They are all masters , they know what they are talking about. You should listen to them and quit complaining about everything.